Thursday, February 19, 2009

An excerpt from my bio text book...


"Dear Dr. Tatiana,

I'm a European praying mantis, and I've noticed I enjoy sex more if I bite my lover's heads off first. It's because when I decapitate them they go into the most thrilling spasms. Somehow they seem less inhibited, more urgent--it's fabulous. Do you find this too?

-I Like 'Em Headless in Lisbon

Some of my best friends are man-eaters, but between you and me, cannibalism isn't my bag. I can see why you like it though. Males of your species are boring lovers. Beheading them works wonders: whereas a headless chicken rushes wildly about, a headless mantis thrashes in a sexual frenzy. Why can't he be that way when he's whole? Well, it's hard to have wild sex if you're trying to keep your head."

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