Well thank god

UPDATE: the 12-year old dad is not in fact a father. turns out his skanky little ho had been cheating on him with "half a dozen" other boys. Check it out here:

Watch Out Woody: "New York Stories" Volume II

So Woody Allen's "New York Stories" is undoubtedly my favorite movie but this delightful reincarnation of "New York Stories" gives voice to a very different tribe of New Yorkers. Check out this Realist Animation art project via Nerve.com.


The Lost Tribes of New York City from Carolyn London on Vimeo.

Rollin in the LOLZ

Pharrell proves that celebs can't always use their star power to get what they want:


And Andy Samberg's on a boat:

X-Rays of Everyday Objects

These CT scans are arrestingly beautiful. Check them out here. Their creator is an artist-turned-medical student!

This is really funny. But then also really sad.

Hamentaschen Spectacular

This is slightly belated, since Purim was on Tuesday, but here are some pictures of the Hamentaschen I baked to hand out to friends at synagogue.

I was bored with the normal filling flavors, so here are some I made:
Apricot+walnut
Apricot+raspberry jam
Apricot+prune pieces
Nutella+walnut
Raspberry jam+chocolate chips
Raspberry jam+white chocolate chips+dried cranberries
Poppyseed

They were pretty tasty.

Look who it is!

Sleepwalking Fail

From FailBlog

I want to go to there

Tina Fey is always so funny. Jimmy Fallon on the other hand seems like he needs a little more time to get used to his new position in life. Totz awkz much, Jimmy? Watch them relive some SNL moments together.

Jason, you're a douche

If you guys want to see a hilarious summary of the past season of "The Bachelor" to which I have been deeply addicted, check out this clip of the beloved Jason trying to defend his sorry ass as Jimmy Kimmel makes fun of him to no end.

Kittens!! (Must-watch)

Happy Birthday, Georgia!

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Georgia, happy birthday to you!

From all of us at Procrasti Nation, have a wonderful third decade of life!

HAHA

Totz Typz Woody!

According to Perez, the hottie from "Slumdog" is starring in Woody Allen's next flick! Totz typz, no? She's perf! Check out Perez's report here.

Another Fantastic Blog/Time-waster

Thanks to Sara R-O for this one: Failblog is incredible.

An excerpt from my bio text book...

"Dear Dr. Tatiana,

I'm a European praying mantis, and I've noticed I enjoy sex more if I bite my lover's heads off first. It's because when I decapitate them they go into the most thrilling spasms. Somehow they seem less inhibited, more urgent--it's fabulous. Do you find this too?

-I Like 'Em Headless in Lisbon

Some of my best friends are man-eaters, but between you and me, cannibalism isn't my bag. I can see why you like it though. Males of your species are boring lovers. Beheading them works wonders: whereas a headless chicken rushes wildly about, a headless mantis thrashes in a sexual frenzy. Why can't he be that way when he's whole? Well, it's hard to have wild sex if you're trying to keep your head."

For my religion paper on the connection between Judaism, Reggae and the Old Testament

By the Rivers of Babylon - Bob Marley

Obama-Lincoln Portrait Created from 5,600 Cupcakes

To commemorate Lincoln's 200 birthday, a portrait of Obama and Lincoln was concocted from a delicious medley of 5,600 cupcakes. Yummy!

Read the full article.

Courtesy of the Huffington Post Style section.

WHAT???

This is just ridiculous: a 13-yr-old baby-faced British boy is a now a FATHER. to a BABY. Oh, and his name is ALFIE by the way. Check out the trashy article here. How does this even happen? He's four feet tall.

UPDATE: I found a video. It is amazing. My favorite part:

Reporter: "What are you going to do financially?"
Alphie: "What's "financially?"

Korean Baby Singing Hey Jude

Sometimes it feels like there are eight days a week, so happy Friday!

Adipic Acid...or Cocaine?!

I spent ten hours of my life creating this substance. Isn't it pretty? This is also the first image I've ever uploaded from my phone. My lab TA thought I was really cool for taking a picture of my crystals.

This is Amazing!

This is Why You're Fat- the weirdest new blog I've come across recently. You must check it out- although probably not right before dinner. I think they should start posting recipes! The sad part of it is- there are some items on here that I wouldn't be totally opposed to tryign...

I Love Her!

I think this is so awesome! M.I.A. performed at the Grammys, live, ON HER FUCKING DUE DATE with the biggest male rap stars in the world right now. She totally held her own, and very cutely touched her belly a couple of times onstage. Plus, how adorable was that outfit?

Here's the slideshow.

Here's the video:

From My ARHA: Modern Art Since 1945 Reading

This was in my art history text book about Robert Rauschenberg about Rembrandt's The Jewish Bride.

"However delicate her face and serious her expression, The Jewish Bride has an ass. You can tell. She can raise her skirt at any moment. She can sit down, she has what it takes."

-- Jean Genet, "What Remains of a Rembrandt Torn in Four Equal Pieces, and Flushed Down the Toilet"

TOTZ AWKZ!!!

Oh yeah, so like I USED to masturbate, but NOW i don't....TOTZ AWKZ!! Check it out.

The Office is good again!

OMG the newest episode of "The Office" is so funny!! Well, it's definitely funnier than William James' Varieties of Religious Experience..... Anyways, watch it if you have time. And come on- we're in college-- you HAVE time.

American Cooking Team Could Be Contest Winner

The New York Times reports that the American team in the famed 2-day Bocuse D'or cooking competition has a good chance of winning this year's biennial contest for the first time ever.

The Times reports, "The contest follows rigorous rules. Contestants must prepare 12 portions of both a meat and a fish dish in 5 hours and 35 minutes in small, identical, kitchen cubicles with picture windows that face an audience of more than 1,000 cheering, flag-waving, bell-ringing, foot-stomping, anthem-singing spectators."

Talk about pressure!

The American entrant, a sous-chef in the famous French Laundry restaurant in Napa Valley named Timothy Hollingsworth, never attended cooking school and has been training 40-50 hours a week for the past three months. He is being assisted by a 22-year-old female apprentice.

Go team go!

[The full article can be found here]

I WAS ON TV!! I WAS ON TV!!!!!

.....and i didn't even know it. check it out: i'm in the first 3 seconds (literally)

This interview is so awkward/wonderful!

My latest lover- Mr. Silas himself is interviewed by Chelsea Handler in what i can say turns out to be a highly embarrassing interview to watch even when one is alone in one's dorm room. But I recommend it. This vid is rollin in the lolz.

Hannah Montana Drug Party

Amy Winehouse Saves the Day!

From Perez:

Good to hear that she's not too cracked out to save a soul!

According to new reports, Amy Winehouse saved the life of a woman who was thrown out of a boat and hit a rock off the coast of St. Lucia, where Wino's been vacationing.

The survivor, Louise Williams, told the British media, "A six-foot wave caught the boat and I went flying and hit a rock. Amy was on the beach 20 metres away and she ran across immediately and said, 'Let's have a look at you'. I was bowled over by her kindness. She went out of her way to help me… It shows there's another side to her."

If it wasn't for Amy the lady said that a wave could have swept her away into the sea.

When questioned about her life saving skills, the singer simply said "I thought she was going to drown."

The Next Amy Pohler: Aubrey Plaza (updated by G!)

Check out the UCB's next great rising star, Aubrey Plaza. Aubrey will be Amy Poehler's sidekick on her new show. She will play Poehler's intern at the department of parks and recreations in Pawnee, Indiana. Watch as she plays an outcast teenager who transforms into a mythical sea hag in "Teen Hag." My favorite clip is this spoof of MTV's "Next" called "Kaplowee."

Currently Reading...

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. I know, pathetic. But I had to see what all the fuss was about. Check out the movie trailer and then a hilarious parody of it below.

Just Finished...

American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld.

It was fabulous and I highly recommend it. Sittenfeld's third novel following the NYT bestseller Prep, this novel is a fictional portrayal of Laura Bush's life. Of course nowhere in the book does it mention the name of Mrs. Bush or anyone related to her which allows Sittenfeld to delve into the depths of what she imagines Laura's life to have been like without worrying about having to deal with the White House.

“A well-researched book that imagines what lies behind that placid façade of the first lady…Ms. Sittenfeld was not out to sensationalize but to sympathize."
–Maureen Dowd, The New York Times

“Brilliant…[A] triumph…Curtis Sittenfeld has provided a plausible secret history of an American embarrassment – and a grand entertainment.”

–Joe Klein, Time Magazine

“A smart and sophisticated portrait of a high-profile political wife…Sittenfeld has an astonishing gift for creating characters that take up residence in readers’ heads.”

–Connie Schultz,Washington Post Book World

“Sittenfeld boldly imagines the inner life of a first lady…an intimate and daring story…American Wife is a vicarious experience, an up-close portrait of the interior life of a very complicated woman…cinematic.”

–USA Today

“The novel, Sittenfeld’s most fully realized yet, artfully evokes the painful reverberations of the past.”

–New Yorker

“Compelling...enormously sympathetic...Sittenfeld’s remarkable gifts as a storyteller draw you back into the fictional world of Alice Blackwell. She writes in the sharp, realistic tradition of Philip Roth and Richard Ford–clear, unpretentious prose; metaphors so spot-on you barely notice them. Sittenfeld may have lifted the set pieces from a real woman’s life, but in the process she has created a wise and insightful character who is entirely her own.”

–Time Out New York

Now That Georgia's Off of the Cruise...

Now that Georgia's off of the cruise, here's a nightmarish nautical story by Roald Dahl.

"Dip in the Pool".

Well, I'm back from the cruise alive BUT

some others weren't so lucky. Fortunately, this didn't happen on my boat, but it was on another ship departing from the same port on the same week that a woman went overboard. They're not sure if it was an accident, a suicide or a homicide, but they have video footage of it happening.

Ok, One Last Post for Good Measure...

My latest obsession: Bon Qui Qui

Babs, you need to check this out!

So this will probably be my last post for a little while-- possibly of 2008, because I will be boarding the cruise tomorrow morning (!) and returning from Florida on Jan 1, 2009. But to end off the year, I wanted to alert everyone that the Israeli Orgy for Peace has been canceled. But apparently, the sex and masturbation conference is still going to be taking place in Tel Aviv in January, BARBARA.

According to Perez,

An orgy aimed at bringing world peace has been canceled after organizers received threats. The festival of sex in Israel was scheduled to concur with International Orgasm Day. It was organized by members of the Raelian movement, a "UFO religion whose followers believe humankind was created by aliens" - not to be confused with Scientology! Raelian spokesperson, Kobi Drori, said that the orgy would welcome all orientations, as long as participants were over 18. The orgy - intended to "try and bring world peace through mass orgasm, this by experiencing consensual sex and natural, uninterrupted pleasure" - was to be the first of events to take place in Tel Aviv. In January there is a conference on sexuality and masturbation scheduled featuring experts and writers in the field. Drori says the group will not be deterred by this setback. After all, he's got an important message! "We wanted to put into practice the saying 'make love, not war'," he said, adding, "Several years ago an Iraqi boy whose limbs were amputated was shown on TV and everybody treated this as if it was okay, but when Janet Jackson exposed her breast during the Superbowl the American nation was appalled." He's kind of got a point!

Orgies for peace!

Bread and Honey's Crinkle Cookies!

I made these on Sunday and they were delicious and easy and big hit with the fam. But I would recommend making a few changes to the recipe. Here's my revised version:

Chocolate Crinkles:

Ingredients:

3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon of almond extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup confectioners' sugar

Directions:

In a medium bowl, mix together cocoa, white sugar, and vegetable oil. Beat in eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla and almond extract. Combine the flour, baking powder, and salt; stir into the cocoa mixture. Cover dough, and chill for at least 4 hours.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper. Roll dough into one inch balls. Coat each ball in confectioners' sugar before placing onto prepared cookie sheets.

Bake in preheated oven for 11 minutes. Let stand on the cookie sheet for a minute before transferring to wire racks to cool.

Thanks to Bread and Honey!!

Reindeer have feelings too. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah #4.